And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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