I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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