You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
