Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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