I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
