it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
