shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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