thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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