You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
