I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
