Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize