Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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