Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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