never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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