Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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