Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
