Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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