I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
