I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
