How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
