I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
