i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
operation have a gay friend backfired
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
