We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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