She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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