I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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