mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize