did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
