If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
