I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he thought i was a dude.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
