Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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