I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
