i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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