i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
