Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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