Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
