She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
