I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
