I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I am morally bankrupt
is wine microwaveable?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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