It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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