i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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