i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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