Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
