it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
