remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
