I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
