i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
