Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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