Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We had sex on a dog bed..
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
