So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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