I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
