Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
