My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
