Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
