Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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