What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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