his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
