Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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