he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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