she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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